I'm lost. Plain and simple. I'm not sure who I was or who I am, or who I want to be. This is rather upsetting to me. Although I'm not really sure why.
I really want to do something with my life. I want to be able to move and provide better for my kids. My husband should not have all that burden. But, what do I want to do? Jeff keeps asking me this, and I honestly don't know. He says pick something you enjoy. Something you will thrive in, can move up and succeed. Have a stable job/career.
But nothing excites me anymore. When I was in school, I wanted to work in a lawyers office, or work with kids. I've had kids running around my house for 7 years. It's not something I want to continue. But it's safe. It's like I'm afraid to leave the house and go out into the big scary world.
Do I regret not continuing my education before I had children? Yes. But would I change it if I could go back in time? I'm not sure. I may not have had the experiences I had if I did. I may not have ended up with the amazing children that I have today.
These days, I look at job's, and think, could I do this? And I make myself think that I could. But you need schooling. And even then, there's no guarantees because many companies insist you have experience. They put it right in the ad. "Experience a must" or "if you don't have experience you must be able to volunteer your hours until you are experienced" WTF kind of shit is this. How do they expect people to gain experience if they won't hire them.
Ahh.. I dunno..
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